5 Ways You're Censoring Yourself (and Experiments to Confidently Share Your Voice)
Self-censorship has been on the mind lately.
I see it in my clients. I see it in my friends. I see it in myself… And I’m actively trying to catch myself when I feel the urge to soften my language or skirt around my stance.
I’ve gotten kinda obsessed with examining it in my work with other women and with The Cairn Project Trailblazers.
So for the latest episode of the See Her Outside Podcast, I offer another rant-meets-pep-talk all about how we commonly self-censor, the impact that setting your voice free has, and experiments to build confidence in storytelling. 🎤
You should definitely listen to the full episode here. But below I’ve pasted lightly edited snippets of the transcript to give you a taste. Happy listening!
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You’re Allowed to Say It Out Loud: Overcoming the Urge to Self-Censor in Your Outdoor Storytelling
Self-Censorship Block #1: “I don’t have a good ending yet.”
You know those LinkedIn posts that are like, “I got engaged this weekend. Here’s what that taught be about B2B sales.” Yeah, nobody likes those.
Most of us as humans can relate more to a messy middle than we can to everything being neatly wrapped in a bow. A lot of us learned about the hero’s journey storytelling format in high school. This is your permission to not use that format in your own storytelling. Heroes can be unrelatable! Happily ever after endings aren’t as relatable as messiness and surprises and changes of plan!
When it comes down to it, your story is a conversation, rather than a conclusion. Your story’s a thought starter, not optimized LinkedIn content. People who shift conversations and culture don’t protect their ego; they test their own perspectives. They share half-formed thoughts and musings. They offer us a start to a conversation where the lessons will only take shape when discussed.
And the magic of this is that the more you write, the more you speak about your messy stories, the more clear you will become in your messaging over time. But you need to test those ideas before they feel fully complete. You do not need a happy ending in order to share your story.
✏️ Experiment: Start a list of your half-baked perspectives. I have a doodle notebook and on one page I wrote “Things I Believe.” There are scribbles all over the page about perspectives I believe, but don’t have full conclusions or proof behind yet. But the process of writing them down and bringing them up with others will allow them to take shape – and it might for you, too.
Self-Censorship Block #2: “I’m afraid I’ll change my mind later.”
Spoiler alert: Your mind is going to change. Someday you’re going to look back on this era of your life and find something to cringe about. We all do. (Just this morning I saw a photo of 7th grade me after putting way too much Sun In in my hair. 🫠)
On a more serious note, when I look back to when I started building a business, there are a bunch of practices and words I used that feel so counter to how I operate now.
But the only way we can evolve is by expressing our ideas and reiterating on them and changing our mind. I’ve seen others – and myself – make endless edits on a draft, or censor bits and pieces of it, on and on and on until the idea has lost a lot of what made it stand out.
🧠 Experiment: Create a conflicting beliefs list. What are beliefs you hold right now that contradict each other? Maybe you believe the outdoors should be more inclusive and sometimes you feel annoyed when trails get crowded. You want to be a role model and you still struggle with self-doubt. You think rest is important and feel guilty when you take a break. If you’re feeling brave, write a few sentences explaining one of your contradictory beliefs and share it on a platform (tag me!).
Self-Censorship Block #3: “I need to soften my language first.”
We’re afraid of cancel culture, or alienating somebody, or having a loved one disagree with us. We think that if we’re direct, we’ll be called bossy, or that if we’re honest, we’ll be called unprofessional.
So we water down our language to be less edgy, more palatable to more people. But when it comes to activism and advocacy, the conversations that we need to be having most, are too important for cushioning. 💯
Your message can lose its power if you sand off the edges too much. In particular, you risk losing your specificity, your resonance with an audience, and at worst the Why behind your point. Stories that are most memorable don’t sugarcoat with too many disclaimers and qualifiers and fluff that avoids taking a stance. You can be bold without being aggressive.
🗨️ Experiment: Name the fear! When you have a perspective you want to share and feel the urge to soften your language, note that urge publicly. Tell people it feels hard to share, or that you’ve rewritten something a dozen times. That also gives other people permission to share their bold thoughts.
Self-Censorship Block #4: “I don’t think society is ready to talk about this.”
All the more reason to be the one to start the conversation! 😉 One of my friends calls it “Go First Energy” - if you know something new worth discussing or doing, you need to go first.
Too many people are recycling content and ideas and not enough people are bravely showing up and sharing new, raw, and honest thinking. New ideas are what’s going to push us towards more openness, inclusion, and equity in society. We want to challenge norms in a space, instead of playing it safe.
⚡Experiment: If Go-First Energy is a bit too edgy right now, find someone else who went first, and expand the conversation. Find a writer, athlete, activist or storyteller who’s shared a thought similar to what you want to share. Pull a quote from that person (with credit), and write a post or text a friend with your follow-up to the quote. You can flex your boldness muscles using someone else’s starter.
Self-Censorship Block #5: “An expert could share this better than I can.”
Lucky for you, you don’t need to be an expert. You can be an example. In fact, a lot of the women I share about in this episode probably wouldn’t call themselves an “expert” in the topic. And yet, their stories are the ones that women are talking about, their fundraisers are directly shaping the future of inclusion in outdoor adventure.
Yes, an expert can educate and give facts. But an expert does not a storyteller make. You have an opportunity to tell a story that’s never been told, not in that way, your way. ✨
🎤 Experiment: Identify one outlet that gives you an excuse to share your real-life story. One experiment to try: Put your hike recap on Alltrails. Add a review for your trail running vest on the website you bought it. Start an adventure fundraiser with The Cairn Project!
Wondering how you got here? Hi, I’m Angie! 👋 I’m a creative director and not-elite-just-enthusiastic athlete living in the mountains and rivers of Washington. I talk about the tough stuff — Blood, Sweat, and Fear — with the goal of building a happier, healthier world for women. You can check out all the ways to work with me here, or follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn.
For Fall-Winter 2025, I currently have some space available for 1:1 women’s creative consulting as well as sports and outdoor brand support.